A Course in Miracles

I have just completed the course on Metaphysics and Miracles. I have found this course to be extremely valuable to me in assessing my own life issues. I think I will start this paper on the quote in the very

last lesson: " And the big lie that the ego still sells today is the belief that we need something outside of us to make us feel happy and complete." I think this sums up the entire experience for me designated in this course. I also quote: "Desire and belief gave birth to choice[the Decision Maker]." and I add that the statement " all beliefs are real to the believer".

When taking this course I had many past recollections of the wrongs done to me as it was my beliefs of such. I was frustrated that I was holding grudges and anxieties that could never find home in me and no resolution seemed possible. I found that I had anger and animosity towards to others, who some of were passed on to the Almighty. I could not let go of the wrongs within me and therefore suffered with anguish. If nothing else, I took this serious and found it detrimental to my well being. I could not let go and could not find happiness when those issues came to me in topic of thought or discussion.

Early on in the course I read of giving these thoughts up to let the

love and the holy spirit into me to shine and remove this. I have found

that by doing so that I was able to forgive and more importantly find my

role in the responsibility for such issues within me. I had been

estranged from one of my children for a number of years and felt huge

regrets about such. So I decided based on this course that was not in my

interest. I asked the God within me to rid me of this and to take hold

of me and guide me out of this course of thoughts. I was able to forget

and forgive and be responsible too. I fought to assure that I did not

carry this anymore. I found the thoughts of ego and the negative issues

to be ones I had within. I decided to cast them out and to live in the

now and found that I was actually able to do so. I let it be known to my

source of such feelings and have found that there is relief and release

of the negative from me. What the future holds I am open to, but I am

not going to blame that which comes on the other person nor anyone. I

have committed to be free of guilt and to be open to the present and not

live with such negatives. Their is a glimmer of hope where none was

evident in the past. I renounced all of my issues of blame and placed

myself in God's hands to find peace and have since found such. I opened

this door to a much broader base then to that of the work which I used

to do and have forgiven and accepted what was and now find in discussion

with colleagues that I have no remorse for my practices and find I am

proud of my accomplishments.

I guess in evaluating this course the thing that one must contend with

is the Awareness of others to have such feelings. I have looked at the

issues of boss and worker and found that the bosses ego would not allow

such events. I subconsciously reflected that without knowing I did so, I

did not use ego to approach the difficult boss. I did what I did with

truth and integrity to me without knowing so. In discussion with a

friend and colleague on this very day, he confirmed that we each dealt

with ourselves in the most positive of conducts and for the good of the

organization, in spite of the negatives.

I suppose the biggest issue I have is adjusting to the fact that others

may not be enlightened by such knowledge of truth and sincerity. Thus,

in dealing with a person all one can do is their best to try to practice

the principles for themselves and trying to show through actions they

are one who is without such hangups. Even when another may not

understand this element of action from within. For many are not

fortunate to have the security of self and love within to be able to

accept that others can be fortunate and positive impacts on their course

of actions. All one can do is attempt to assure they are uniform in

their principles themselves and hope that others will see and respect

that. And if the others do not see this, it isn't a matter of

superiority, it is a matter of keeping true to ones self and letting

what goes on be as it is.

I have a very close friend with cancer and I found that chapter

illuminating. I even have shared some of the information with the

person[s]+[ as there are actually several folk whom I correspond with

right now who have cancer]. I have given to them the wisdom [not mine,

but that of which I have learned about] of letting God be within them

and asked of them to accept such to help them in their journeys through

their treatments and asked and prayed for them to accept God and enjoy

every moment. And you know what? They do! My own parents, who are quite

elderly and severely ill, have rejected my assistance to them. I put my

values on them and instead of accepting their lifestyles- since I wanted

to help and make their lives easier in my opinion- they have chosen not

to discuss their issues with me. So I asked God for help and I have come

to the realization that they are happy in their world and I should

accept what their wishes are. I cannot be let in without their

permission and they will not allow help, thus I search with my heart to

accept their beliefs of what is best for them and I can adjust to that

now with love in my heart.

So it is asked of me, to answer what I have found in this course and I

have found a newer version of me. I have let more goodness enter me with

God's help and I have accept what I can not change. I am accepting what

people want in their judgments and I am living a better life with my own

illness and pains. I ask of God to help me in my struggles with health

issues and give me guidance. I do not dwell upon what was. It is over

and history and I cannot change it.

I would not live my life over. I have accepted those things that were

and move forward to accept the present and look for a bright future and

attempt to give to others who ask. As a member of a civic organizations,

the issues of giving and then receiving were especially home hitting. I

have found that to give unconditionally, is the brightest spot for the

soul to be replenished and rewarded. I ask for nothing but God's love

within and whenever I have doubts I ask for guidance and love and things

just happen. There is no need to relieve the past nor fret upon the future.

In the very first few pages of this course, it talks about Fear based

thinking. I heard a soldier who was on many tours talk about fear. He was asked if he feared on his missions and his response was Fear is "false expectations appearing real". His answer stuck with me and it was before being involved with this course. When I opened the first chapter and read about fear based thinking those words came back to me. We have untold freedoms and we are free to chose if we so deem it to be. This course gives us guidance to learn how to choose and that choices can be made through our Almighty Great Spirit that is within all of us to discover. We have power and it is for us to harness it to archive well being and not let the monsters of ego and separation from our God give us that ego. Our God gives us our strength to achieve those " Miracles" for each of us.

I suspect if I have any issue with what is within the course it is one more of a political nature. I am not at one with those who wish to inflict harm unto others. I am not sure how one person can alter the course of others with other agendas. I know I can do what one person can do, but to alter the course of world events is beyond that of my comprehension at this time. I suppose I will dwell upon that and still do my best to assure God's being. However, it is an issue of which I

have yet to come to terms with. I pray for such persons and ask that they be shown a light that God's power has, but I have difficulty reconciling hatred and death being wished upon others who are different. I Pray for them and I pray for me to accept with reason.

It is however, one issue that needs to be addressed in a whole world view. To pray, gives me solace, but it may not be followed by others. I ask for that, but I am not sure of the results for mankind? Yet I pray!

Thank you for this very enlightening course.

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