Spirit Quest Final Essay by Rev. Kirk Haas
I am difficult to work with. This I was told was the reputation that preceded me. It disturbed me when I heard this. It was not an easy thing to hear. However it only took a day or so until I accepted the comment. I owned it. It was true. I am difficult to work with. I am passionate in word and deed and sometimes this is not an easy relationship to handle. This was an example in my life where I took ownership of something and it lost its emotional impact over me. My spirit had prevailed.
I am passionate about what our future holds. I have grandiose plans for my place in that future. I love the past and what it teaches us. I live today with the knowledge of yesterday to make tomorrow better. A young lady once emailed me in response to visiting my website stating that I was a pure soul. I didn’t quite understand what this meant. My wife suggested that I possess a worldly view with compassion for the mundane. My spirit is balanced.
I practice filling roses with my obsession of the moment; the things that I just can’t seem to stop thinking about. I allow those roses to open and when they reach their zenith of open beauty, I explode them and watch as their petals float to the earth. I do this until I can let the obsession go. I ground my spirit to the earth when I feel unfocused, unable to concentrate. I break that connection when I return to a level of comfort in my moment. These are tools that my spirit has learned to use to return me to my center.
Money is a tool, a tool that you use to build things. Good, bad, grandiose or trivial, these things that we build are not the result of having money, they are the result of using money. Money is a tool you acquire to be used to create something else. Used improperly, money is a burden. Used correctly money becomes indispensable. I am financially burdened at this moment in time not because money is evil, but because I used it in an improper way.
I have a supervisory job in a large institution. The other day I angered my manager at the place where I work. I was asked by the manager of another department to give a recommendation for a young lady who worked for us and was applying for another position within that department. As only a supervisor it was my job to tell this manager that the recommendation should come from my manager and not myself. Instead I gave the recommendation and allowed myself to be upset with my manager who became angry with me. I stood my ground. I refused to not give a recommendation when asked. I suggested it was the fault of the manager who requested the recommendation for not knowing better than to ask me for the recommendation. It wasn’t until later that I started asking the right question. The answer was obvious once I asked the right questions. In my heart I am a minister. To minister is to help. I was asked to help and I did so without thought to the consequences. Did I break workplace policy? Yes I did. Did I regret the action I took? No, because I work in the wrong workplace. I am a minister and I should be a minister first and always. Did I mention I am difficult to work with? My spirit is going to be OK.
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